Hope Inside
by SlashGashTerrorLawliet
Summary: Harry Styles has had a hard life and has always felt alone... but will Louis Tomlinson save him from the darkness? Larry Stylinson. Hints of Niam, Ziam, and Zarry. Better summary inside, rated M for certain reasons.
1. PrologueChapter 1: Waiting

**Summary: Harry Style's lived a rough life. He's went to drastic measures to keep his sanity, even losing some of it in the process. All He needs is his music, even though he is totally convinced he's a terrible singer. But what happens when a boy named Louis Tomlinson just burst into his life? Will it make him happier... or make things spiral out of control?**

**Author's Note: This story is M! And it gets deeper and darker with every chapter, so be prepared for some really heavy stuff. Larry, Niam, Ziam, Zarry.  
**

* * *

Chapter One: Waiting, Harry's POV

I awoke to the harsh sound of my alarm clock ringing in my ear. I smashed it onto the floor, but it landed on a pile of dirty clothes, so sadly it did not break.

I groaned and lifted myself from my bed, my naked body getting goosebumps from the morning air. I shivered as I removed my covers and reached down to pick up and turn off my alarm clock. As it stopped and I set it down on my bedside counter, I reached into my drawer to grab some boxers and skinny jeans. Then, in my closet, I grabbed a black and white plaid shirt and hopped into the shower.

I washed, rinse, and repeated my thick brown curls, then after ten minutes hopped out of the shower. I wrestled into my skinny jeans and pulled on my shirt. After blow drying my hair, I went back in my room and walked into my closet, pulling out a black vinyl guitar case and plopped down onto my bed.

I opened it gently, and it revealed a beautiful, 40'' acoustic guitar, black with a silver outline. It had an amazing shiny gloss to it that made it look stunning. But truth it, I had bought it from a thrift store when I was twelve for 20 pounds. I just did my best to take care of it, because it was my only thing that kept me sane. I had taught myself to play, using and instructional book I found in the case when I bought it, and various internet sites that provided me with the fingerings, so I didn't really need professional lessons.

I started strumming, and quietly sang. _[note: I do not own Moments by 1D! But it's amazing 3]_

* * *

_**If we could only have this life for one more day **_

_**If we could only turn back time **_

_**[CHORUS]**_

_**You know I'll be **_

_**Your life **_

_**Your voice **_

_**Your reason to be **_

_**My love **_

_**My heart **_

_**Is breathing for this **_

_**Moment, in time I'll find the words to say **_

_**Before you leave me today.**_

* * *

I concluded the song, feeling peaceful and content with my life. But after the strumming pattern, I was knocked back into the real world, where nothing was ever alright.

I had written the song myself, when I was 14. After seeing a story of a girl with cancer on the news, I decided to write her a song and send it to her. But by the time I got this small snippet of the song completed, she had sadly passed away. I couldn't bring myself to trash it, so instead I called it Moments and attempted to finish the song. But I never could. It just never felt right.

I sighed and strummed "Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes. I had always wanted to be a singer... but according to my parents I would never be good enough. Well, my father. I still remembered the day I sang to him. His exact words? I can't even bear to remember them. My mom? Just walked out of the room crying. I didn't know what that meant... but I just assumed it was bad, like the rest of my terrible life.

After about 20 more minutes of strumming and playing popular mainstream song I had heard on the radio, I checked the clock and it was was 6:00am in the morning. School didn't start until 8:45am. I decided to put my guitar back in the closet and walk to school early and catch some fresh air.

After setting it away, I walked past my parents room to here them fighting, sending vulgar comebacks at each other. I put in my earphones, blasting Pink Floyd into my ears so I wouldn't hear the hate. I didn't need it.

As I walked out the door, I looked around me. The sun was dull as it raised an effort to lift itself into the sky. The clouds floated over like marshmallows, which made me smile a little.

I walked down the block, and stopped by a nearby coffee shop to grab a coffee for the walk. I sat on a bench in Liberty Park and watched the birds sing, wishing I could be like them. So free to do as they please, and all around happy with life. And they also always had a home to go back to. That nest was like their foundation. If only I wasn't alone, everything would be different.

I got bored of life thinking after about five minutes, and I decided to stop by my friend's house.

I walked for about five minutes, and then I turned a corner to see a small house where Zayn lived. Zayn and I had known each other since fifth grade. When I was being bullied for straightening my curls, Zayn stepped in and beat their asses for me, and even took me home with him for some video games and stuff. He was a real nice guy, but he also had a deep side, which made it easy for me to talk about the hard stuff in life.

I knocked on his door. I heard a groan from behind the walls as Zayn's tan body opened the door, his chest bare and a towel wrapped around his waist. "Grr, Harry I was fucking busy! But come on in anyways." He growled. I laughed and walked inside. On the couch I saw Niall Horan, clad in only his boxers, blushing like a madman.

It was no secret that Zayn was gay. He was very public about everything. Niall was Zayn's Irish boyfriend who he's been dating since 7th grade. They met when Zayn again was superhero and saved Niall from a rapid beating from some homophobic guys. Of course, you know where the story goes from there. They were an amazing couple, but Niall wasn't as into the PDA thing as Zayn, because his parents didn't except him. It got so bad, he actually moved in with Zayn. Which has led to the current situation I'm in, staring at little Niall in his boxer shorts.

"Looking sexy Niall." I said with a wink and a sip of my coffee. Niall's pale cheeks turned pink as he pulled a blanket over his body. Zayn walked in behind me, carrying two pairs of pants in his hands. "Bro, I told you to call if your ever coming over, because ya know... the _circumstances_." he said, putting emphasis on the last few words, implying the fact he lived with his boyfriend. I sighed. "I'm sorry Zany-boo." I said, hugging him. I could almost feel Niall wince behind Zayn. Niall knew the fact Zayn had liked me until Zayn had met him. Zayn had even been my first kiss. So even seeing me near him hurt him. But I did it anyways because Zayn was my best friend, and I was allowed to be close to him right?

I pulled away from Zayn, and went over to hug Niall lightly. I sat on the couch and watched them both pull on pairs of gym shorts. Zayn, still a little pissed at me, stole my coffee and said he was gonna get ready for school. " Come Niall, let us shower." Zayn said, lightly pulling Niall's hand in that Romeo and Juliet way. Niall's beautiful blue orbs lit up, and I groaned. "Please keep the volume to minimum, please?" Zayn laughed. "Hey, this is pay back for being a cock block, ass hole." Zayn said, as he out his arms around Niall's waist and kissed him. They both giggled like girls as they clambered upstairs.

I sighed. Niall and Zayn had been dating since they were 13. I was simply a player as most of my exes put it. If only they knew. My last girlfriend I had in the end of 8th grade, Samantha, was a lot to me. We had dated for nine months, and I was almost certain she was the one considering that had been my longest relationship, but I had found out she cheated on me. It caused me to be depressed, and everything had spiraled down. I developed a lot of problems during Freshman year. But I couldn't blame it all on Sam, I mean my parents fucked up, too.

My thoughts were interrupted by Niall's moans from upstairs. I grimaced, a little embarrassed about hearing such a private moment. I decided to silently leave the house and let them have sexual relations in peace.

As I walked out of the house, I felt a pang of jealousy strike me. I didn't want to be single, I wanted to be in love. I didn't even know my sexuality. I had never dated or had sex with a guy, but after my kiss with Zayn, it had changed everything. Zayn had confessed his feelings for me when we had went to the park, and then when I said I don't know, he had kissed me. It was definitely an amazing kiss, but I said no. Maybe it was a sign, maybe I was a jerk, I didn't know. All I knew is if I had to be single, maybe Zayn could be my stand in.

I arrived at school. Of course I was here about and hour and a half early, but I didn't care. The janitor left the door unlocked 24/7, so I was always able to get inside the school. The hallway cameras were all either fake or they weren't thoroughly watched over. So I walked down the hallway with ease, slipping my books into my locker and just taking my notebook, backpack, and guitar pick.

I walked down the hallway, and found myself inside of the music room. It was my favorite thing about school. I had it for my last class, so I always had something to look forward to. Inside were as many instruments as you could think of. But my favorite thing was the music teacher's guitar. It was brand new, and it was signed by some famous band. It had that sunburst color, and of course it was a Gibson. The strings were nylon, and I liked that pretty metal sound it created when you held the strings too hard.

I plugged in my earphones and turned on a random song and played along.

[I do not own Can't Stand It by NeverShoutNever! But it's like my favorite song 3]

* * *

_**Baby, I love you**_  
_**I never want to let you go**_  
_**The more I think about,**_  
_**The more I want to let you know:**_  
_**That everything you do,**_  
_**Is super fucking cute**_  
_**And I can't stand it**_

_**I've been searching for**_  
_**A girl that's just like you**_  
_**Cause I know**_  
_**That your heart is true**_

_**Baby, I love you**_  
_**I never want to let you go**_  
_**The more I think about,**_  
_**The more I want to let you know:**_  
_**That everything you do,**_  
_**Is super duper cute**_  
_**And I can't stand it**_

_**Let's sell all our shit,**_  
_**And run away**_  
_**To sail the ocean blue**_  
_**Then you'll know,**_  
_**That my heart is true**_

_**Baby, I love you**_  
_**I never want to let you go**_  
_**The more I think about,**_  
_**The more I want to let you know:**_  
_**That everything you do,**_  
_**Is super duper cute**_  
_**And I can't stand it**_

_**You, you got me where you want me**_  
_**Cause I'll do anything to please you**_  
_**Just to make it through:**_  
_**Another year**_

_**You, I saw you across the room**_  
_**And I knew that this is gonna**_  
_**Blossom into something beautiful.**_  
_**You're beautiful.**_

_**Baby, I love you**_  
_**I never want to let you go**_  
_**The more I think about,**_  
_**The more I want to let you know:**_  
_**That everything you do,**_  
_**Is super duper cute**_  
_**And I can't stand it**_  
_**No I can't stand it**_  
_**No I can't stand it**_

* * *

I sang along aloud, pretty sure nobody was in the room with me. The song flowed naturally from my lips, and it pleased me to feel that small high I developed whenever I sang. The music was my escape from life. From the hate, the abuse, the physical, emotional, and mental pain. I was like a obscure drug addict, the music being my ecstasy. It was as if my head was up in the clouds, floating higher and higher, until the song was over.

In hopes of staying high, I closed my eyes even tighter than before. I didn't want to see the world around me. I wanted it to be me and the music.

Just then I hear clapping.

My jerk open and I turn around, to come face to face with a brown haired, blue-eyed cutie who had eavesdropped on my singing.

He was tall, but he was a few inches shorter than me. He wore giant nerdy glasses that magnified his eyes. He wore a long sleeved striped shirt that sort of reminded me of a sailor, and bright red skinny jeans. The ends of the long sleeve were cuffed playfully in his hands, like you see those adorable anime girls did. He had ocean blue eyes that smiled back at me with pure joy. Even his presence made me feel warm.

"By God, that was amazing!" He said. He had this impish grin that was adorable. I fumbled around my words. "I uh no I was just... what the fuck are you doing in here?" I said. His eyes flashed hurt, ad his smile turned down a bit. "Well then. I was just walking by when I heard your singing. I thought I'd tell you that you were awesome, but I guess you don't like me apparently." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

I tugged at the curls in my head, as I always did when I was nervous. "Hey I'm sorry I just don;t sing in front of people." I set the guitar down and grabbed my bag to bustle out the door. "Wait!" He yelled, but I didn't even bother to turn around. I kept walking. Farther and farther away from the guy who had made me weak in the knees, and saw me sing. I mean, it wasn't like a crime to see somebody sing, but at least tell me your standing there... Who am I kidding I didn't even know the guy! He was just a random dude being a creeper. I wasn't even that good. I knew I wasn't...

Time had flew by and people were gathering in the hallways. I decided to sit in the library and skip first period. I pulled out my notebook, and wrote out scattered thoughts onto the page. A lyric here, and a cuss word there. It was amazing how one little thing like this made me feel better.

I flipped the page and stared at it. Since it was completely blank, I decided to write about that motherfucker in the music room.

_**THINGS ABOUT STRANGER IN THE MUSIC ROOM  
**_

_**He was tall, but shorter than me.**_

_**He acted childish and silly.**_

_**He had gorgeous blue eyes.**_

_**His chin was a bit stubbly.**_

_**His eyes reminded me of the sea.**_

_**His voice was higher pitched.**_

_**He seemed to like stripes.**_

_**The glasses he was wearing were big and nerdy, but made his eyes look pretty.**_

_**His smile was contagious.**_

_**His laughter was like dripping honey.**_

_**His are were... Wow.**_

I noticed I had written about his eyes a lot. They were astonishing.

"Watcha writing?"

I turned around to see the same guy I was writing about in my journal reading my personal entry. I quickly closed my notebook, and tossed it into my bag. "Don't fucking sneak up on me like that God dammit." I growled. The hurt look returned to his eyes. "I'm sorry, again." His eyes were wide orbs, like puppies. "It's OK, it's my fault as well as yours." He said, pulling up a chair next to me. He certainly wasn't shy. "You forgot this in the music room." He said, pulling out my guitar pick. I was surprised. I must have rushed out to fast that I forgot it.

I took it out of his hand. "Thanks guy, that's really nice of you." He smiled bright, then extended his hand. "I'm Louis Tomlinson." I looked at it, but didn't except shake it for some reason. "I'm Harry, and I prefer you didn't sneak up on me at random times and invade my privacy." I murmured, picking up a random bookfrom the table that had been abandoned by it's previous owner. I flipped through the pages, wondering why it was so pink and frilly...

"Um, Harry if your trying to hide your feelings for me you aren't doing a very good job." Louis giggled. I blushed pink at the accusation. "Who says I have feelings for-" I stopped talking when I noticed the book was entitled _The Guide To Love At First Sight_.

"Aww, you love lil' ole' me?" He said in a mock country bumpkin accent, and used his hand to fan his face girlishly. It was pretty fucking cute, to be honest. "I don't have feelings for you." I said, slamming the book roughly on the table a little more harshly than intended. He winced, but he didn't cease his pestering. "Hey, I'm sorry bro, I was just kidding. Are you homophobic? Well your beliefs are yours. And I have to ask you... Are my eyes really that pretty?" He said, batting his lashes. I felt somewhat exposed with Louis around. "Now who says I was writing about you?" I said, popping one earphone and blasting Anti-Flag. Louis giggled again, this time filled with even more bubbly essence than the last time. "Obviously it was about me. I mean I do rock my striped shirts, if I do say so myself. And whatcha listenin' to?" He said, once again annoyingly poking over my shoulder.

He made a face. "Ew why so serious? I mean it's great and all that you support the rise and fall of mankind and all that, but listen to something more like... This!" With that, Louis ninja flipped onto the table and layed on his side like a Calvin Klein model. He cleared his throat, and then began to sing.

[Don't own _Valerie_ by the Zutons, but so pretty! 3]

* * *

_**'Cos since I've come on home**_

_**Well my body's been a mess **_

_**And I've missed your ginger hair**_

_**And the way you like to dress **_

_**Won't you come on over **_

_**Stop making a fool out of me **_

_**Why won't you come on over Valerie **_

_**Valerie**_

_**Valerie**_

_**Valerie?**_

* * *

Louis sang like and angel. He had a high voice, but it was perfectly pitched that way. It also made him see all the more happier, and I didn't think that was possible with this guy.

"See Harry? I think you would love music like that if ya gave it a chance." Louis said, him now on his belly and his legs kicked up in the air.

God dammit. Why was this dude so fucking cute?

"Not my type. But I like your singing." I said, making my music a little louder to try to distract me from how nice his butt looked in those jeans.

Really? Awwzies!" He said with that cute kitty emoticon face [:3]. Next thing I knew, Louis was hugging me across the neck. Physical contact made me feel all electrified. It felt as if I was listening to music, that high was amazing. I had the urge to throw my arms around him, like me and Zayn had done countless times before, but I had resisted. I hated feeling so exposed!

He pulled away, and looked at me with a concerned look on his face. I noticed my teeth had clenched, and my muscles were very tense. I released myself, exuding a big exhale. "Sorry... I don't like being touched." I murmured, opening my notebook and doodling on a blank page.

Louis nodded understandingly, taking off his sweater to reveal a toned chest underneath. "I don't know if it's legal or not, but it's hotter than a desert out here! How can you wear that flannel?" He asked, playing with the cuff of my shirt. I snatched my arm away, not wanting him to see what was under. "Oh, Harry come on, I'm pretty sure the librarian won't mind, she's been giving you the eye anyways." He said with a wink. He fingered my cuff again. "Louis, _stop_!" I growled. I stood up, pushing my chair back and walked away. I didn't want him to see them. Nobody knew! Not Zayn, not Niall, not my parents... Nobody. And some fucking retarded ass motherfucker that I just met was going to change that.

I left Louis at the table, a stunned look on his face as he put back on his shirt. Fucking adorable goof ball... He didn't know the half of what was going on. Why... why was he so happy? Why did he have to make all the barriers I worked so hard to put up melt away? Why could just his smile and that twinkle in his beautiful blue eyes make me want to smile? Why was he so perfect?

I walked down the hallway, ignoring the fact I was passing by open classroom doors and that some teachers were telling me to go to class. I burst into the empty bathroom at the end of the long narrow highway. I slammed the door, locked it, and looked in the mirror. Looked to see my face, everything that I did not want to be. Next thing I knew, I ripped off my shirt.

Scars.

Dozens and dozens of scars riddled my arms and chest. I could even remember some of the special ones. Two over my heart for my ex-girlfriend Sam. Three on my wrist from the first time I cut. One on my shoulder for when my father called me fat. I looked at it all, knowing I did it because I didn't want the emotional pain, everything that could've ever happened has happened to me. My body was ugly anyways, it deserved being mutilated like it was. All I ever did was hurt others, and prove what they said about me was right. A stupid, fat, ugly, whore that didn't deserve to smile, didn't deserve to be happy.

Didn't deserve to be alive.

I searched in my backpack for something... _anything_ that would help make the pain go away. I pulled out my ink pen, the one I had so many countless times used to write songs with. I searched for a clean spot. Found it. Right over the center of my ribcage.

I pressed hard, then yanked. Immediately all my pain was gone, released through the small rivulet of blood that coursed down my chest. I looked in the mirror, feeling somewhat content with the events. I did it again, once more on my left wrist and my waist.

I washed the tip off and threw it in my backpack. The blood on my abdomen had dried, but my wrist still dripped eagerly. I sat there, and watched it continue to bleed, ignoring the swimming feeling in my head.

"Harry are you OK? I'm sorry if I offended you or something..." came Louis' high pitched voice from the other end of the door. I tensed, and hurriedly put my shirt on. "I'm just... nothing I needed to go to the bathroom." I said. Louis sat silent on the other end of the door. "Well, I have to go. But I'll see you around some time? second period is about to start... don't get in trouble." Louis said as happily as could be.

I said nothing, wiping the now dried blood from my wrist. I sat there, thinking of Louis. Maybe he had problems, like his mom not being able to give him lunch money, but he would never understand what I went through. No one would ever understand. Especially not some weirdo like Louis. I just wish he would leave me alone!

And that night, I couldn't wait to see him at school again, to experience the high he gave me.

* * *

_**Ending crappy shit I know ;o But please no flamming! And R&R nicely :D** _


	2. Chapter 2: I Spy

**Oh lookie hurr! Another chapter! I know the first chapter like was a turn off cause it led to a cliff sort of like thingy and It was sort of rushed. But here's another one that spices up there relationship a little bit... And remember I don't plan my chapters I ad lib whatever comes to mind. So I hope you enjoy! :D 3**

* * *

Chapter Two: I Spy, Louis' POV

I sat in my room, PJ's and teddy bear in hand, and reviewed my current situation.

OK, so I had met a guy right? And he was like amazing at singing! I tried my best to make friends with him, but it was like he hated me. I always made friends with everyone I met. I just didn't get why he didn't like me.

But those things he wrote in the notebook were adorable. He seemed to be in love with my eyes, which I did as well. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I thought about his eyes. They were greenish and very pretty. But there was something strange about them. You know how eyes are like "The windows of to our souls" kinda thing? Well when I looked in his, they were like blank. No emotion behind them. But I could tell he had emotions, because he seemed to feel anger for like anything that happened.

I was determined to get him to be my friend, or maybe something more.

I was gay. I wasn't afraid to admit it. OK, I was, because I was currently dating a girl that I had no attraction to whatsoever. But that's because everyone would judge me. I don't wanna be judged. I hate the feeling. I mean I couldn't give a damn what anyone thought of me, but being harassed for my sexuality is something I wouldn't prefer.

Oh, who am I kidding? He has to be straight! I saw the way that the librarian looked at him, and she was like 50 years old! Well maybe he was like... bisexual or pansexual or something? I mean, he did describe my blue eyes as wow, which made me blush.

Just then, my cell phone rang. I picked it up and answered it. "Hellur?" I said. There was a soft giggle at the other end of the phone. "Hello, Louis." It was my girlfriend, Eleanor.

Eleanor was stunning, even to a gay guy like me. She had beautiful everything! Her eyes, her hair, her soft lips... all perfect. She was an aspiring model of course. "What is up babe?" I asked, tugging on the end of my trousers. "Well sweetie I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner in about an hour?" She asked. I thought about it. "Sure El, I would love to." She released a sigh. "Good, thank you! I am so stressed from work and I need to see my boo. So I'll leave you to get ready. Loves you!" She said. I mumbled an 'I love you too' then hung up the phone.

Well, not the time to think of Harold. Now's the time to go out and relax.

* * *

Harry's POV

I sat in my room, playfully strumming my guitar. I loved the fact it was the only thing that made me feel better about everything.

I played 'Beautiful Soul' by Jesse McCartney as I thought about Louis. My thoughts were jumbled, as they switched from rants, to compliments, to just not making sense.

I hated the fact about what he did to me. Made me weak in the knees about everything I did. And we had just met yesterday.

**I don't wanna another pretty face**

I honestly couldn't say I hated him though... I mean it's not his fault he's like perfect. Especially those sparkling blue eyes that twinkled brightly.

**I don't want just anyone to hold**

Wait, no. I had just met him! Why was I so high strung about this? I mean... he's a gorgeous person with a great personality but we just met!

**I don't want another minute go to waste**

I wanted to see him again... wait no I didn't! I needed to distance myself as far away as possible from him. I had Zayn and somewhat Niall, that's all I'd ever need.

**I want you and your beautiful soul**

Beautiful. Yes Louis truly was.

My thoughts and my strumming were interrupted as I heard a loud bang from downstairs. I gently sat down my guitar and ran out the door to my downstairs living room.

The room was littered with garbage, as always. My father never bothered to clean up his shit, and he expected my mom to do it. I scanned the room, only to see and hear them screaming at each other in the corner of the room.

They were both yelling gibberish for all I was concerned, so I couldn't really figure out what they were fighting about. But they always fought about something, and I needed to know what was going on.

I noticed my dad holding a broken beer bottle, which is probably what had caused such a terrible bang. His face was red and sweaty as he screamed louder and louder at my mom. My mom was yelling back, matching his volume, but in her eyes I could tell she was afraid.

She stopped yelling and glanced at me, only to return glaring at my father. "Harold, go back up to your room, honey." She said, he voice cracking from screaming so loud. I stood in place, intent on knowing what they were fighting about. My father scoffed. "Why should he? It's mostly his fault anyways!" My father howled. My mom pushed against his chest. "It IS NOT Harold's fault that your an ass! Leave him out of this!" I felt tears prick my eyes. Was it my fault?

My father pointed in my direction. "It is his fault! We were happy until he came along! We had no financial issues, and we never fought! You KNOW just as well as I do that this is Harold's fault! But you are also at fault! Because you gave birth to him!" My father screamed louder, his words slurring. He was drunk, I think. "No, you made Harold with me! He is your son you fucker! How could you treat him like that? You should act like a father... What happened to you?" My mother said, her voice progressively getting lower as she crashed down into sobs. My father scoffed. "Please, your a whore! He's probably not even my son! He looks nothing like me! You probably cheated on me just like the slut you are!" My father hollered. In truth, I looked almost exactly like him, only I have my mothers eyes and her hair color. Did I... cause this?

Next thing I knew, my father slapped my mother.

I acted on rage. I ran up to my father and pushed him away. _"Don't touch my fucking mom!"_ I screamed. He stumbled on account of him being drunk, but he regained his balance. I had forgotten he was holding the broken beer bottle, and he had thrown it at me. It hit me straight in the head. I felt blood trickle down my cheek, and my head began to feel fuzzy. I felt my mother holding my hand, begging me to stay out of this, but I yanked my hand away, just like when Louis almost saw my scars. I wasn't going to let him hurt my mom.

My father released an evil, cynical laugh. "You think your tough? Well you know what? You aren't. All you do is sit in your bedroom, playing that stupid guitar of yours, not to mention you sound like shit! You freeload off of this family! Your 16 and you don't have a fucking job because you waste your time chasing dreams that you will never achieve because you know what Harold Styles? You are worthless! You have no value to this family whatsoever, and you are as pathetic as your fucking mother! You are a fucking waste of space in this world, and people like you don't deserve to be happy and have everything that I pay for!"

I stared at my dad, stunned. I had never seen him like this. He had always had little to do with me, as my mother, but I never knew he... hated me. I never knew I took advantage of them like that...

"I'm going out, this house better be clean when I get back or I'll snap that twig of a guitar in two!" He said, slamming the door as he walked out.

I looked at the door, soaking up every word my father had said to me. He was right. My family struggled with so many financial issues, and I didn't help with anything. When I had money, I spent it for stupid things like notebooks and new guitar strings. I could have a job and making money and helping my parents pay the rent. I ate there food and used there plumbing, but I never repayed the favor. I made them buy me school supplies, when I could be getting them myself. I was a freeloader, and a pathetic excuse for living. I didn't deserve their love...

"Harold, your father didn't mean it baby..." She said, her short stature hugging me tightly around the waist. I snapped out of my thoughts and examined her face. It was turning red, and it was created a deep indentation in her skin. It gently bled from the pores. I wiped away the blood, my hand lightly touching her skin. I looked at her in her eyes. "But he's right mum. I... He's right." I broke down crying, my head resting in the crook of her neck. She patted my back like she used to when I was two, unsuccessfully trying to comfort me. I didn't want to cry, not in front of my mum, but I couldn't stop. She whispered something I could not hear, and I pulled away. I shouldn't be like this, not to her anyway. She reached back out to grab me, but I feinted away from her grip and went upstairs.

I slammed the door behind me, tears streaming down my face. I didn't understand! Why was I such a screw up? Why was I such a mess? Why couldn't I be like a normal 16 year old boy and be... not crazy! I didn't understand why I was so stupid! I... I can't even think right!

I felt my heart beat as I searched for something... _anything_ to take this away. I _needed_ the release, and now. I searched through my drawers, finally finding a small pink blade I had ripped from a pencil sharpener. It was fairly sharp, and it had stains from previous uses. Rust had begun to develop on it. I wasn't worried about poisoning though, because it would just end my pain faster.

I swiped it across my wrist, immediately feeling as if all pressure had been taken off of me. I exhaled, feeling much better than I had before. After a couple more cuts, I set it down onto my bed side, assessing the damage I had caused myself physically. The blood dripped down in small beads of red, down a perfect arc on my arm. I had succumbed to a slightly numb feeling, which began turning into a colder feeling as I attempted to strum the guitar, the strings matted with blood. I exhaled loudly, packing up my guitar, and curled up into a ball on my bed. I decided sleep was best, even just letting the blood get on my sheets.

* * *

**Louis' POV**

I had finished preparing my with Eleanor as I heard a knock on the door.

"I'm coming!" I said in a high pitched opera voice. I opened it up, and as expected came my best friend Liam. He was a taall guy, with brown hair and gorgeous brown eyes. And by gorgeous I mean, you were like swimming in pool of dark chocolate filled with nuts. "Hey Louis, what's up?" He said, gladly inviting himself in. "I've been good bro. Actually have been through better!" I said, causing us both to laugh. Ah, that laugh.

See, me and Liam used to date. We had dated for a year, but then we had decided it was best we boh just stay friends. Liam was a good guy with things to do and places to be, and I was just a goof attempting to graduate senior year instead of failing. Sometimes I had wished I had stayed with Liam, because then maybe I wouldn't be oh, I don't know... forever alone? I mean yeah I had Eleanor but... she would never be anything more than a 'Friend with Benefits' kinda thing.

"Aww, why's that? You shouldn't be so pessimistic my friend." Said Liam, plopping onto my couch. I puffed my cheeks. "Eh, just another week of pretending to love Eleanor." Liam glanced at me. "Then break up with her if you aren't happy." He said.

I sighed. Me and Liam have had this conversation millions of times, over and over again, in many different versions. I just_ couldn't_. "Liam, you know my circumstances... I don't like being unaccepted." I said. He grabbed my hand and made me sit next to him. "Louis, just because there are a lot of people that don't like it, doesn't mean there aren't people who do like it. And it's not like you have anybody to impress. My parents hate me." He said, frowning. I winced. I knew Liam always pulled the parent card. My parents had left me for dead when I was 15, and I had basically been living on my own for all this time. I was legally 18 now, though. So I was allowed to live alone. But Liam had told his parents he was gay when he was a freshman. After that, he had broke it to them we had been dating at the time. So, they, being strict Christians, practically had nothing to do with there son. I had felt bad, but my parents were society. "Liam, it's almost me and Eleanor's two-year anniversary anyways. I can't just hurt her like that. She's also my best friend." Liam grimaced. "Then be single." He said. I looked away, knowing he was giving me the baby boo eye thingy that he did.

Liam sighed, which officially closed the conversation. I put my arm around him and let him rest his head against me. We sat there for about five minutes, then I checked the time. "Damn, Liam, I gotta go. Be good and feel better 'kay?" I said, kissing him playfully on the cheek. Liam smiled. "Of course Louis. Now run along."

I dashed out the door, screeching a good-bye in the process. I walked down the street, enjoying such a beautiful morning. Birds singing, cats roaming there owners window sills, and the sun smiling down on me with puffy, marshmallow-like clouds. There was a slight calming breeze that swam in the air. I took a big inhale, and I was greeted with the smell of fresh that had just been made in a bakery I was passing. I exhaled a sigh of content. How could anyone hate today? It was so beautiful on so many levels.

As I am walking down the street next to some run-down apartments, I hear screaming. I look to my right and hear all this fighting going on in another house. I am stumped for awhile, not sure if I should call the police for a domestic violence. But then I begin to hear some of the words being thrown around.

"It is NOT Harold's fault that you are an ass. Leave him out of this!" Screamed a women.

"It is his fault! We were happy until he came along! We had no financial issues, and we never fought! You KNOW just as well as I do that this is Harold's fault! But you are also at fault! Because you gave birth to him!" Screamed a burly man's voice.

"No, you made Harold with me! He is your son you fucker! How could you treat him like that? You should act like a father... What happened to you?" The women retaliated, although I could barely hear the last few words.

"Please, your a whore! He's probably not even my son! He looks nothing like me! You probably cheated on me just like the slut you are!" The male voice screamed. I just about tore out my cellphone to dial 911, but then another voice intervened.

"_Don't touch my fucking mum!_" Screamed a young voice.

I gasped. Was that Harry's voice? No... it couldn't be. I attempted to look through the window, blocking out the rest of the screams from the male voice. I wanted to see if he was OK! But there was no way I could check without just knocking on the door...

Then I heard a set of burly footsteps walking towards the door. I panicked, so I pulled a stupid move and simply sat a few paces away from the doorstep, covering my hand with my face like a beggar, although I was dressed nothing of the sort and was physically fine. The door opened, and out stepped a man that looked as an older version of Harry. His face was red, and drenched with sweat. His eyes were hollow, indicating he was probably drunk. He glanced at me, mumbled something incoherent, and and went along his bloody way down the street to I presume the nearest bar.

I released a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. I listened once more to the wall, hearing only mumbling and sobs. I felt my heart break a little. If this truly was Harry, was this why he couldn't be friends with me? Because he had his guard up and because he didn't want to be hurt? Maybe if I just broke down his barriers.

I shook my head in realization. This was none of my concern. Of course I was sympathetic, since my parents had left me alone for so long, but Harry wasn't that close to me for me to begin helping him with his problems. Sure, being a psychologist was my dream, because I loved helping people on an emotional level, but Harry needed to come to me first. I mean why should I help? The boy obviously didn't care much for me. I stood up, sweeping dust off of my trousers, then walked away. I looked at the phone I was about to use to call the police, noticing 2 missed calls from El and that I was already 5 minutes late and had a few more blocks to walk before I got there. I picked up the pace, focusing my mind set on Eleanor Calder as I power walked to our date.

Of course, I couldn't help but look back and think of the curly-haired boy who was in turmoil and I just ignored.

* * *

I had arrived at the designated dinner date slightly off time, OK I was 15 minutes late, but would Eleanor be mad?

Looking through the windows, I saw that the restaurant was decorated with Christmas lights and had a small stage to the right inside, probably for the uses of personal entertainment at night when the place turned into a bar. All it's seats were booths, and it was an all around nice place.

I opened the door and scanned the semi-fancy restaurant, only to see a frowning Eleanor in the corner of the bistro. Since there was nobody to check me in, I simply walked to the table. Eleanor was wearing a stunning dress. It was a simple strapless pink dress with a sweetheart neckline and was decorated with black lace at the rims. Her hair was tied in a bun with small curls hanging down from her head, framing her face. I felt slightly under-dressed, considering I had just wore a short-sleeved striped shirt and some blue skinny jeans. I hadn't even realized I was still slightly dirty from the endeavor at (who I thought) was Harry's house.

"Well, thank you Louis for showing up on time." She said, irritation visibly detected in her voice. I gulped. "I'm sorry El, I was a little busy. Liam had to talk to me about something with his parents." I lied. Wait, I just lied to Eleanor... I never lied to her! OK maybe about my sexuality but that's about it!

El sighed. "It's fine. I know how much you love him. But at least notify me or something! I mean sometimes I think you care more about your friends than me." She said. I nodded, taking her hand and kissing it. On the inside, she didn't know how much of that was true. She smiled at me. "So how's your week going babe?" She asked, taking a sip of her water. Oh, I don't know, I got feelings for a seemingly straight guy who might be in an abusive house hold that I just ignored all together, no biggie. Wait did I just say I have feelings for Harry? "Fine, just a lot of hanging with Liam. Sort of made a new friend." I said, adding the last part a little fast. If Eleanor had heard it, she payed no attention to it at all. "That's cool. I have this modeling job that they are offering me in London! It's going to advertise so many things..." She said, blabbering on and on about the different styles she was going to present. I wasn't really paying attention, so I scanned the room and observed various couples eating here tonight.

One was an elderly couple, that were being adorable. They held hands, kissed each other, and the old man was kind enough to cut up his meat for his wife. Seeing couples like that made me believe in love forever. Ahh, old love.

Next to me and El were a couple that looked brand new, as if under going their first date. They were awkward, as the girl was blushing a bright red and the boy seemed to keep fidgeting about every little thing. They also appeared quite young, about 13-15 perhaps. Ahh, young love.

Across the restaurant was a double date. One couple seemed about in their twenties, and they were perfectly relaxed. The other couple across from them were about in there earl thirties and seemed to be bickering with each other on random subject. Ahh, middle-aged love. Very annoying.

Farther away were two boys, holding hands under the table. They looked about my age, and probably went to the same high school as me. One was tanned and tattooed, with what appeared to be gauges in his ears. He had those deep brown eyes that seemed to carve into your soul, type of thing. He was very handsome. Across from him was a cute little blonde boy, with sparkling blue eyes and a bright smile. They were seemed to be gay, but I wasn't really sure because the blonde boy pulled away from his lover's hand every once and awhile when a waiter passed by. Maybe they had a semi-closeted relationship. But all together, you could see the love in their eyes.

I sighed, wishing I had the guts to be like that with another male.

"Louis? Are you even listening?" Said Eleanor, which snapped me away from my daze. The irritation on her face had grown considerably, and it seemed she was very mad at something, possibly me. "Yeah I was babe." I said sheepishly. She rolled her eyes. "Then what was the last thing I said?" I thought back to the last thing I heard. "Um... you said something about a modeling shoot in London?" I said hopefully. She stared at me. "Yes I was speaking of that, but then I began speaking about how my parents don't approve of me being a model." She said. She crossed her arms and began to pout. "El, I'm sorry. It's just school and stuff." I said. Eleanor didn't have to go to school, because she had been home schooled almost all her life, so normally when I pulled this card, I got a small bout of sympathy. She glanced at me. "Well, I guess. But you should really listen to me more!" She said, swatting my arm lightly. I leaned over the table to kiss her on the cheek. "I know I should. I don't even deserve a minute of your time, but you know I love you." I said, kissing her on the lips afterward. She smiled, her cheeks turning a red tint. I blushed as well, but not for the same reasons.

It was times like these I felt most bad for using Eleanor. She really loved me, and of course I loved her, too, but it would never be the same way. I had to_ pretend_ their were sparks between us._ Pretend_ that being physically intimate with her was amazing. _Pretend_ I wanted to get married and have kids with her. _Pretend_ we had something between us that would never be there. Of course, Eleanor was one of my only friends, next to Liam. I cared about her a lot, just not in the way she cared for me. And I would never be able to break her heart like that. In a sense, you could say I loved Eleanor and never wanted to leave her. But in a friend kind of way, ya know?

I attempted to listen to Eleanor the rest of the night, but guess who ruined that for me as well?

* * *

**Harry's** **POV**

I woke up from my nap, my arm stained with dry blood. I checked the time: 7:30pm. I yawned, rolling on to the floor. I took out my cellphone and saw a text from Zayn.

_**From: Zayn**_

_**Hey boo, vas happenin? You seem pretty lonerish today, so I expect to see you tonight, because me and Niall wanted you to come to dinner. We'll be there by 7:15, so please join us at Nando's? :D 3 xx**_

I grimaced. When Zayn said 'Me and Niall' it meant him. He was always inviting me on his dates. I always felt bad, because Niall obviously didn't want me there. I think he still thinks me and Zayn are dating. But I needed someone right now... So I decided to go.

I wiped the blood off of my arm and changed into a black hoodie. I walked out of my room, going downstairs to check on my mother. She was quietly cleaning up the floor. A pang of guilt hit me as I remembered my father had told me to clean the mess, but again I had left it to my mother to do what was my job.

"I'm going out." I yelled to her, not waiting for a reply. I quickly walked down the street, and I after awhile I had made it to Nando's.

Nobody was there to assist me, so I simply walked in and found Zayn and Niall sitting at the center of the restaurant. I walked toward them while they were in mid-kiss, and as always I felt like a third wheel. I cleared my throat. "Hey guys." I said awkwardly. Zayn broke the kiss. "Hey Harry! Come and sit!" he said. Niall mumbled a hello, his cheeks turning pink.

I sat down next to Zayn on the other side of the booth, watching Niall fidget with his food. Zayn began talking, breaking the awkward silence. Niall got into the conversation, and I just disappeared from view. I didn't really want to be here, but I didn't wanna be alone. I just sat and stared at the stage the whole time.

The stage was where I had always wanted to be. I always imagined myself in dreams, singing my heart out and being discovered by some random producer who just happened to be at Nando's at the time. I loved that stage. I had remembered when I was 11, I had snuck into here at night when it turned into a bar. A guy went up there to sing karaoke, but he also brang his guitar. When he sang, the whole bar began to sing along. I had watched, mystified by the fact he had remembered all those notes without a sheet of music in front of him. Then, for my 12th birthday, I had asked my mom for at least $30.00, and she agreed. I had went to the nearby thrift store, and picked up my guitar. I had made many trips after that, making sure I was able to tune it right. Then I used my beat up instructional guide to learn a few notes. After some time, my mother had gotten the family a computer and I was able to learn more and more. And in high school, I was able to take lessons during freshman year. So for the most part, I had taught myself.

My memories were interrupted by a cute laugh from across the restaurant. Of course, there was Louis, sitting with a nice looking female and having fun. I felt a pang of hurt in my heart. I knew Louis wasn't gay... wait, why did I care anyway? I had obviously driven him away, even if he had liked me. And here I was, being a third wheel with Zayn and Niall, not even eating or talking, just gracing this fine establishment with my presence...

Next thing I knew, Louis was up and out of his seat, walking towards the stage.

He hopped up on stage, and smiled into the microphone. "Hey-low everyone. I've decided to randomly sing tonight for everybody! Enjoy!" He said, exuding a few chuckles from the audience.

[I do not own _Party In The USA_ by Miley Cyrus... and I also have no idea why I chose it :D]

* * *

_**I hopped off the plane at L.A.X.**_  
_** With a dream and my cardigan**_  
_** Welcome to the land of fame excess,**_  
_** Am I gonna fit in?**_

_** Jumped in the cab,**_  
_** Here I am for the first time**_  
_** Look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign**_  
_** This is all so crazy**_  
_** Everybody seems so famous**_

_** My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick**_  
_** Too much pressure and I'm nervous,**_  
_** That's when the taxi man turned on the radio**_  
_** And a Jay-Z song was on**_  
_** And the Jay-Z song was on**_  
_** And the Jay-Z song was on**_

_** [Chorus:]**_  
_** So I put my hands up**_  
_** They're playing my song,**_  
_** And the butterflies fly away**_  
_** I'm noddin' my head like yeah**_  
_** I'm movin' my hips like yeah**_  
_** I got my hands up,**_  
_** They're playin' my song**_  
_** I know I'm gonna be OK**_  
_** Yeah, it's a party in the USA**_  
_** Yeah, it's a party in the USA**_

_** Get to the club in my taxi cab**_  
_** Everybody's looking at me now**_  
_** Like "Who's that chick, that's rockin' kicks?**_  
_** She gotta be from out of town"**_

_** So hard with my girls not around me**_  
_** It's definitely not a Nashville party**_  
_** 'cause all I see are stilettos**_  
_** I guess I never got the memo**_

_** My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick**_  
_** Too much pressure and I'm nervous**_  
_** That's when the D.J. dropped my favorite tune**_  
_** and a Britney song was on**_  
_** and a Britney song was on**_  
_** and a Britney song was on**_

_** [Chorus]**_

_** Feel like hoppin' on a flight (on a flight)**_  
_** Back to my hometown tonight (town tonight)**_  
_** Something stops me every time (every time)**_  
_** The DJ plays my song and I feel alright**_

_** [Chorus x2]**_

* * *

Pretty soon, the whole place was into it, raising there hands and dancing around. I smiled when I saw Zayn put his hands around Niall to dance with him, causing Niall to smile. Louis hopped off stage and was pretty much dancing around the establishment, making friends with everyone he met, stopping to kiss that pretty girl he had been sitting with at the table. I felt left out, just sitting down, but I don't dance. More like, I sucked and was awkward at it, just like everything else I did.

Eventually, of course, Louis found me in the crowd.

* * *

**Louis' POV**

I sat there with Eleanor, eventually loosening up and goofing around like we always did on our dates. But I couldn't stop looking at Harry. He was sitting with those two guys who were dating. He looked awkward as he stared at the stage. I felt like I should help him someway... but how? I decided to do something really random.

Hey, El, I'll be right back 'kay babe?" I said, kissing her cheek and walking off. I felt a little weird, doing this for someone I didn't know very well, but I was going to do it!

I clambered up on stage, grabbing the microphone. "Hey-low everyone. I've decided to randomly sing tonight for everybody! Enjoy!"

And I chose the most randomest song I could, Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. Eventually, someone had turned on a background instrumental for me, and everyone had seemed to enjoy it. I put my hands up, and they put there hands up. I clapped, they clapped. Eventually, they all began to dance, even that cute old couple. Those two guys even danced together, free of judgement from everybody around them. Of course I spy Mr. Uptight-ass-awkward-pants (aka Harry) was still sitting in his corner, staring longingly at those two guys. So, I hopped off stage.

I danced into the crowd with everyone, dancing and having a blast, even stopping to kiss Eleanor. I made my way through the crowd with ease, eventually stopping at Harry. "Get up and do something!" I yelled enthusiastically, putting down my mic and my funny arm dance thing next to him. Harry blushed and mumbled something, but of course I pulled him up out of his seat. I did random dance moves, and eventually, he attempted to dance, looking pretty awkward as he did so. I laughed. Harry giggled childishly. And of course the song was over and everybody clapped for me.

"Thank you everybody! I'm Louis, swag masta from Doncasta, and thank you for being amazing!" He said, earning a standing ovation. I hopped off stage once more, heading over to Harry. "How was I? Oh and by the way, you can't dance!" I said, laughing. Harry blushed and said, "Louis that was amazing. Why did you do it though?" He asked. I smiled. "You looked pretty awkward over there with your two friends, so I decided to relax the tension. All for a friend!" I said. Harry looked surprised. "I'm a... friend?" He asked. I nodded, I was about to reply, but the two boys came over, holding hands. "That was so fun!" Said the blonde one. The dark haired one nodded, kissing him on the cheek. The blonde boy blushed when he saw me, releasing his boyfriend's hand. "I'm Louis, a friend of Harry's." I said, extending my hand. They both shook it, introducing themselves as Zayn and Niall. Whilst we conversed, El told me she had to be home. "Well hopefully I'll see you at school!" I yelled, making a me gusta face as I exited. Of course, I thought of Harry, like I had been all day.

* * *

**Harry's POV**

That night, I thought of Louis, like I had all day. I was... a friend?

* * *

_**Oh suckish ending again! Well, it was pretty random, and now we see how Louis feels! And we got a look into Harry's personal life. So wait for chapter three!**_


	3. Update! Not a Chapter

OK this is not a chapter but I need your guys help. I'm not having writers block or anything, but I really have a hard decision to make. See I have no clue if I'm a good 1D fanfic creator or not, but I am being faced with the problem of the fact that Louis and Harry actually aren't too fond of the Larry Stylinson thing. They are OK with it, but they don't like it when it goes too far ya know? And apparently it's put a strain on their relationship and him and Eleanor's relationship.

So of course I'm going to finish Hope Inside and Moments, but after they are completed should I keep writing Larry fanfics? So just let me know kk? Thanks!

And next chapters will be up in a couple of weeks, been really busy with procrastination and all that so ya lol. Peaceskies!

xx


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